Saturday, June 3, 2017

Story: sub-servient

(Tetora has kindly alerted me to her new novella that just came out so I am more than happy to share it with everyone here. She's quickly becoming one of my favourite transformation authors (or, rather, has become already)). (Removed as per author's request. Tetora's books are to re-published on Amazon.)



12 comments:

  1. The story had more unexpected twists and turns than a maze, the power interchanged
    time and time again.

    The story ventured from consensual at outset, until at conclusion subterfuge of epic proportions. Alliances being formed but those alliances being broken.

    Who has the power and will keep the power?. Who can say as i'm sure further twists would be on the horizon.

    The power of the pussy is strongly evident, it is a theme that runs through this novella, be it the pleasure garden itself, or the fruits that it gives forth.

    We were taken on a journey that most definitely showed the the sweetest of emotions, through to the most dark.

    They say power corrupts, this story shows that those in subservient positions are not beyond the realms of being corrupt too.

    That was a story that will last in my memory for long while

    ReplyDelete
  2. The dispositions of the characters and of the plot up to about midway in the story were quite defined. Following that juncture however, the story becomes subject to complications and thus ambiguity.

    This clouded condition of the story continues with distractions, and the reader may be excused if something becomes missing in comprehension of the now underlying positions and motivations of all the characters involved.

    For best perceptions, the story from the second half should be re-read for optimal appreciation. A sense of anti-climax is the ending result. "It's complicated" could be the overall description for this story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robyna i concur with the comments you make, i too did struggle from half way point, but assumed it just my little grey cells not firing on all neurons.

      I guess i like simplicity regarding power exchanges, them being made and then reinforced through the story, with maybe a unexpected twist at the end.

      I do wonder if the story were to be read as many are on L2m, in chapters over period of time with the author linking each chapter into the next, then things would have been easier to read and comprehend.

      The number of twists and turns did leave my brain feeling similarly twisted and turned, (not that it takes much to do that). Hence i commented that story would last in my memory for long while, as still trying to assimilate the story.

      I will add that these are just my opinions, i am grateful to the author and all authors on L2m for their efforts, in no way do i wish my comments to be viewed negatively or to disillusion authors, just hope honest feedback is received in manner which it is intended, to help and to be constructive.

      Delete
    2. 'Appreciate seeing your take on my comments, betsy. Thank you for responding.

      It's appropriate here to also thank the author for her story, and for giving aficionadas of the L2M complex some heavy, juicy account to contemplate and to be intrigued by.

      Thanks also to Camille who selected this story and made it available for us diehard fans of the genre. :D <3

      Delete
    3. I am more than content if someone enjoyed reading the parts I enjoyed writing as the latter half of a story is usually equivalent to pulling teeth for me. After a few weeks with the same scenario, I am completely desensitized to it so it is very hard to see things through to the end with the same level of enthusiasm. For that reason, the endings I write may only be stimulating intellectually.

      - Tetora

      Delete
  3. An interesting variation,more complex than one usually sees.
    But can a boyish figure really be made for child-bearing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was an interesting dynamic to have someone who regards herself as practically a boy to be "more of a woman" than the girl she feels inferior to.

      That being said, this was to have been foreshadowing at some point. There was an abrupt, aborted ending at the fertility clinic where it is shockingly revealed to Sarah (and the reader) that Lydia is a transgender woman. As the narrator, she was too embarrassed to tell you the truth about why she felt the way she did and made up a story about racial disparity instead.

      - Tetora

      Delete
    2. That would have been really interesting! Unreliable narrators are generally a cool touch, and it would make some of Lydia's more 'masculine' observations make sense (like when she's talking about procreation and passing on your seed -- I feel like that's a more male thing).

      Another male thing: carrying another woman's child in her womb and thinking of it as a parasite. It's hot, but feels like a very male fantasy.

      A little confused by the huge jump in time: Lydia is not yet pregnant, then in the next scene both the daughters are teenagers? I think it'd be better if this were put int context. Not sure about the power struggle between Sarah and Faith; these characters weren't introduced clearly. Also confused by the sudden shift to Seth's perspective at the end of the story.

      Overall very interesting story, thanks for sharing! Great ideas and good flow.

      Delete
    3. Sorry I misspoke. Sarah had been introduced, but Faith's perspective wasn't very clear. It felt like the drama / conflict between them was unclear

      Delete
    4. At the conclusion of the penultimate chapter, Lydia is unsure if Sarah is a manipulative liar. My intent with unannounced time skip was to make the reader think that she is, only to reveal that the person emotionally torturing her is her daughter instead. (And then pull the rug out from under you again when you find out that it was all a performance) This initial interaction really needed to be way longer to elicit the intended effect, it's way too short as-is.

      I may have thrown in too many twists at the very end. It is perhaps a weakness of mine, an attempt to go out on a high note. I did restrain myself by not including even more in an epilogue. Faith was to have been awarded her inheritance early because in Korea (where Lydia says she is from), newborns start out at age 1 and immediately turn 2 on New Year's Day. This gets Faith to show her true colors and it doesn't go well. Lydia proceeds to inform the dumb brat that she is not Korean and begins work on producing another heir before Faith reaches her 18th birthday for real. For months her belly swells with a baby, but surprise! there is none. It's just a simulated pregnancy. She loves Faith too much to take the money away from her, who has since reformed.

      This would have introduced a glaring plot hole that I didn't care to fill and necessitated that I reveal that Lydia is Asian, which I guess I did just now. I'll try to keep things less chaotic next time. Anyway, thanks for the feedback.

      - Tetora

      Delete
  4. I really enjoyed this story until chapter 9, it seemed to lose its way with the Julian / Faith relationship, personally I enjoyed "Maid in her image" better but having read all your published stories I enjoyed "She may be habit - forming" the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your input. I considered ending it with chapter 8, but thought that the ambiguity would be frustrating. I never really had a clear picture in my mind as to what the ending of this would would be when I started so it all came together a bit haphazardly.


      - Tetora

      Delete