by Violet Carson I realized that I needed to stop daydreaming and get on with some work, reminding myself that I was a cleaner and my new home needed some serious attention. I slipped on my housecoat over my old dress and got to work. Even now, after three months of this life, that sensation of pulling on the cheap polyester material still thrilled me. I spent over three hours on my hands and knees wiping the kitchen and bathroom floors and thoroughly cleaning the cooker and all the kitchen units. I don’t know when they were last cleaned, but they were filthy. I deliberately didn’t wear any rubber gloves as I was determined to accentuate the dry redness of my hands and further enhance the experience of pain and discomfort of the poor working woman that I’d become. At the end of my cleaning shift, both my knees and back were in absolute agony and it was a real struggle to stand up straight. Sometimes I did wonder why I was putting myself through this and compared the pain and resulting stimulation to some of my old and probably never to be repeated S&M sessions with Mark.
The work wouldn’t have taken quite so long if I hadn’t had to keep standing up to pull up my stockings that kept slipping down to an extent that even Rose wouldn’t find acceptable. At least when I was working at the travel company I stood using a mop most of the time so it shouldn’t be as much of a problem then. But I did relish this additional obstacle I’d created for myself and I was in a permanent state of semi arousal, feeling the tugging of the suspenders against my skin and the dampness between my thighs rubbing against the incontinence pants. Every so often I just had to pause to think, “Yes I was actually wearing incontinence pants and plastic waterproof pants over them and what’s more I was in heaven!”
At about 6pm I finally felt that I’d at least got the place into a semi-decent state. Tomorrow I would empty the remaining cupboards and wash all the china and porcelain figurines that were so perfect for Rose.
One disturbing element was that there was also an alarming amount of noise outside the flat. Also, I rarely heard any English voices and when I did, it was in the unmistakable tones of young uneducated black men. What was happening to my town I felt myself thinking in a way that AJ would never have done. I wasn’t going to go out that evening so I tried to forget about the noise and convinced myself that it was a Saturday night and there would always be some noise. I was no longer living in a detached house with large garden to cushion me from the outside world so I had to get used to it.
As I was staying in I cooked myself some simple tinned food and then followed it with two cream cakes and tea. I hadn’t realized before but I was actually starting to gain a few pounds from my poor fatty and sweet diet of the last three months. Although I was walking and cleaning I was eating cheap food and I was no longer going to the gym three or four times each week and my body was definitely softening. It crossed my mind to be more careful with my diet, but I immediately put such thoughts out of my head, thinking Rose couldn't afford better food, which was actually becoming more true by the day and also didn’t I want to change the person I had transformed into over the last few months. I also realized that although I wasn’t smoking heavily, it had become something of a habit and now that I wasn’t in my old home under the watchful eyes of Mark and Lucy I would to stop, or at least have one just before starting my work there to maintain the smell that they felt had to be an essential part of the new me.
When I’d cleaned out the bathroom cupboard I’d found a number of cosmetics that were all passed their sell by dates, but thought that once I’d eaten I should have some fun. So, having done the washing up I got to work.
Firstly I put my curlers in and added my hairnet and then started with the make-up. There was an old very heavy pale foundation and face powder and pink blusher. I applied them all liberally and found that by frowning as much as possible when applying the make-up I could actually emphasize the small but still quite fine lines around my eyes and definitely create an older impression. As AJ, I sensibly used my blusher to emphasize my cheekbones but found that by using it in a circular motion on the middle of my cheeks could make them look plumper and lose the definition of my cheekbones. With a little bit of effort I could really get closer to the look I was after. The only catch, was having not worn very much make-up for sometime it was going to take me longer to get ready each day, but I decided it would be worth the effort and it would certainly never take me as long as it had taken AJ!
Whilst admiring my work in the mirror I reached a momentous decision. Mark and Lucy had effectively forced me to work for the cleaning company. From now on I was going to live that role totally. I decided that on Monday I would phone Mr. Smith and see if there was any possibility of working somewhere else in addition to the travel company. I knew that a number of his staff worked on more than one site, so why couldn’t I? It would also possibly mean that I could tell Mark I wouldn’t work for him anymore. That could well be the final break I needed with my past to live and work as Rose full-time with no contact with my previous life. It was a very thrilling prospect if I could make it work. It would also enable me to live independently, even if it was with virtually no spare money for any luxuries, which after all is what people like Rose’s life was really like. I could certainly cope with that for the remaining three months of this. However, the prospect of taking this beyond that was becoming increasingly more enticing by each passing day,
Those thoughts were becoming ever present as I got into the drudgery of my routine, could I truly do this for longer I asked myself and did I really want to? I was beginning to think that the answer really was going to be yes.
I sat down to watch some television with my housecoat on, wearing my curlers, hairnet and slippers. I felt heady with excitement and arousal.
Thankfully, Sunday was fairly uneventful on the housing estate. There were some gangs of unpleasant looking youths and a constant group of Africans standing around by the car park looking as though they were ready to commit any minor crime given the opportunity. They at least tended to ignore me, but anyone under the age of 20 seemed to snigger or make some rude ageist remark when I passed by to get some fresh air. This was definitely not a place to be out late at night and with the days shortening, I was not looking forward to coming home at the end of my evening’s cleaning shift.
On the Monday morning I set off to the bus stop to take myself to my old home to do the cleaning. The bus would take about 30 minutes to get there and with the walking and waiting time could easily be an hour door to door. I stood waiting for the bus with the wind blowing under my mid calf length pleated skirt as I desperately tried to hold it down so it didn’t reveal my stocking tops or even worst, my plastic panties. I could feel the cold exciting chill on my bare flesh above the tops of my stockings that I’d experienced so rarely in the past. Of course when the bus finally did arrive as I stepped up to get on board, the biggest gust of wind of the morning blew, lifting my skirt way over my knees, presenting a full view to the three giggling schoolgirls behind me! I should have been absolutely mortified, but the sudden thrill of the exposure was so stimulating, I almost wanted one of them to comment, to further add to my shame. To think, when I started this, the sarcastic and often downright rude remarks of teenagers used to quite upset and sometimes scare me, but they had become second nature now and I was actually relishing those moments when I received a dismissive or hurtful comment. Then, as I found a seat, I heard the now distinctive crackle of the pants as I sat down and I convinced myself that everyone had heard and secretly actually hoped they had. I simply could not understand why, but I was finding this all such an unbelievable turn-on.
I finally got to Mark’s and after hanging my raincoat in the hall saw Lucy about to leave for work. Mark must have already left as only her Boxster was parked outside. She was in another micro-skirt matched with ultra high heels and her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.
“Oh my Rose!” she greeted me.
“I do like your make-up, it goes so well with your skirt and blouse!”
“Thank you, Miss Wu, I thought I should make more of an effort,” I replied.
“Oh and Rose those shoes, they must be so comfortable for a woman like you,” she remarked commenting on the brown flat shoes I’d inherited with my new home.
“Thank you, perhaps you should try something similar, I don’t know how you manage in those heels” I remarked.
“That’s because some of us just have a natural sense of style, Rose, and know we should always look our best for our men,” she cattily replied, as she managed to score a point over me again I thought.
Finally she left and before starting work, I headed for the phone to call the cleaning company.
Of course, I got through to brain-dead Savannah who remembered me from my interview, but she was at least sure they could find me a shift somewhere else that I could tie in with the evening work, as she remarked they always needed more willing workers.
She promised to ring me back within the next day or so to let me know what they had.
My heart skipped a beat, wondering what additional humiliation lay ahead. I had dreams of it being in an advertising agency or even better, something to do with women’s fashion where I could look so totally out of place and beneath everyone else. I longed to suffer the piercing glare and despairing looks an office full of sexy looking young girls and professionals would have for me.
I cleaned most of Mark and Lucy’s house as it had now become, in my mind at least, and again headed off to catch the bus to the travel company. I was torn between the stimulating sensation of all the underwear I was wearing and the lack of practicality of it. How did women use to cope wearing what I had been wearing for the last 48 hours? Admittedly they wouldn’t have worn what was essentially a disposable diaper, but the corselette would have been pretty standard fare. It really did hinder me in everything I did. Every pull or the slightest restriction gave me a surge that was hard to describe. When would it start to lose its appeal I wondered?
As soon as I got to Getaway Holidays, Marj was waiting for me in the storeroom/office that was her domain.
“Good evening, young lady, I believe that’s the correct way to address you, isn’t it?” she enquired.
I was instantly thrown into a state of panic, was this a joke or did she know everything I wondered?
“Good evening, Marj,” I replied, hoping to treat it as a joke.
“Look here,” she commented in a far sterner tone than I’d ever speak before.
“I’ve just been speaking with Savannah who told me all about you. Is this a little bit of fun, playing dressing up for while, or are you just doing it to laugh at those less well-off than yourself?”
“Come on, out with it, I want to hear the truth or I can make your life pretty miserable, but perhaps that’s what you want, well is it? I want to hear exactly what you’re up to, starting right now and if I’m not convinced I’ll inform the Police that you’re working here under a false ID and that you must be planning some kind of crime, otherwise why would you be doing it?”
I couldn’t help myself and confessed everything to Marj, including telling her I’d always felt the need to be submissive and how I thought this might take that one stage further. I even told her that I wasn’t quite 30 and somehow the old lady image had come about quite by accident and I’d started to really love the escape of it. I went on to tell her how miserable my old life had become and that as stupid as it undoubtedly was, I’d actually found myself becoming far happier as Rose. I must have sounded desperate and probably quite mad, but somehow it seemed to work.
Marj put her arms around me and said she hadn’t appreciated that I’d been so unhappy and if this was what I really wanted to do it would be our secret.
There were however two conditions.
Firstly, she told me that in her youth she used to work at the make-up counter at Harrod’s in London and knew everything there was to know about make-up and if I wanted to look older she could help, but I would have to keep the look up all the time and not let her down.
Secondly, her husband’s friend Jack who we met at the pub had taken a real shine to me and she felt that when they went out together next weekend I was to make sure I was there as he was likely to ask me out on a date. She said he hadn’t had a “girlfriend” as she described the role I was going to play since his wife had died almost five years ago and he needed someone and I would be perfect. It was made very clear to me that if he asked me out I was to accept and not to resist any of his advances. She said he was a simply “lovely man” who deserved someone. But I was not to hurt him and I was to play the dutiful elderly partner. I was given no choice.
How was I going to kiss him I thought and having sex with a man pushing 70 sounded disgusting and how could I get away with it. This was not going to be easy or very pleasant but I had to agree. This was an even bigger problem than I’d ever imagined having to face in my new persona. How could I do that I thought, I suddenly felt dirty and cheap and a real fraud. I'd be leading him on knowing it would go nowhere and he’d be hurt and perhaps I would as well. How could I continue as Rose and get away with this?
For the moment at least I could see no option but to agree to Marj’s demands. The only alternatives seemed to be to throw myself at Mark’s mercy and ask to come back, or return to my new flat but as what, Rose, AJ or someone else entirely?
With my mind rapidly going over these options, I agreed and so Marj said that I was to go to her house the following afternoon where I would be made over by her and then we’d travel to work together in her car for our evening shift.
She also told me that she knew that Savannah would be in touch tomorrow and from next week on I would have a day shift cleaning in a large food factory as well as the evening shift with her, so I would need to be in character and remain convincing 24/7 and it sounded as though I was going to lose the limited shelter of working in Mark’s house very soon.
It seemed that every day I was falling deeper and deeper into this trap I’d created for myself, but why was I doing this? It didn’t make sense, but just as when I mentioned this to Mark initially I knew deep down I wanted to go along with everything that lay ahead for me.