Saturday, October 29, 2016

Caption: No Going Back

I have a large collection of German-language lady-to-maid captions of varying quality, salvaged from a now defunct yahoo group. This is one of a better ones that fits nicely with a lot of the themes in this blog. The free translation is courtesy of T.H.Enerdly.


Translation:

No Going Back

by Derdurchdiezeitreisende (The Time Traveller)

“You don’t look too happy, Madame. Has he left you too?” Rosa couldn’t deny that she felt a sense of schadenfreude about Heather’s streak of bad luck.

“Rosa, please help me. There’s nothing more I can do. What am I doing wrong?” After betting everything on her relationship, Heather knew that she had fallen into a hole so deep that there was no hope of climbing out by herself.

“What more could I do to help you, Madame? I’m your maid: It’s my job to obey your orders. I do your laundry and clean your home, I serve your guests, and when Madame rings the bell, I’m AT YOUR SERVICE.”

“That’s not what I mean, Rosa. I know that you’re a hard-working maid, the best I’ve ever had. But I need a friend to help me cope with my life as well as you seem to cope with yours.” Imploringly, Heather looked into the eyes of her maid. Rosa’s eyes were cold and arrogant. After a few moments, Heather lowered hers to the floor. At this moment, Heather knew how Rosa could help. “Rosa, I’d like to change places with you. How would you like to be the Madame? I’d be your maid.”

Rosa laughed, “Madame, you can’t be serious. I may be your servant, but I’m not your plaything. What would happen? The fine lady plays at being a domestic servant for a while, then, when she’s had enough, everything returns to normal? No, Madame, if you want to be my maid, there won’t be any going back. You should give me all of your property, or even better, get hopelessly into debt.” Rosa laughed again, for she knew that Heather was about to give in. “Heather, honey, a maid’s uniform fits so much better when there’s no going back.”

7 comments:

  1. An Appreciative ReaderOctober 29, 2016 at 10:54 AM

    I loved that last sentence about no going back from the imperious Rosa... this caption was worth it for that alone! Hope you find a few more to share :)

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    1. I agree, the lat sentence really tells the victim how deep in, she is going. And how her escape route just closed.

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  2. I remember these. I have them stored as well. Unfortunately they are all in German.

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    1. Well, get in touch with T.H. Enerdly. Make an offer for a trade. ;-)

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  3. I have to confess, captions are a form of expression that I still just don't get. If the story can stand alone, great. If the pictures can stand alone, great.When the pictures have only a vague, distant connection to the story, I'm just left wondering "huh?".

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  4. I can translate if someone were to provide a caption.

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    1. Thanks for the offer! Please drop me a line to camille.langtry@gmail.com and I'd send you the file.

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