by BigBird74
Just how vulnerable was I? It appeared
extremely. I could try to get to my father. I could run from the whole ghastly
situation. Anything would be better than simply waiting and sinking further
into this new life! But I sat still. For the moment it felt that my options had
run out and I was safest staying just where I was. As an undocumented worker, I
had no money, nowhere to go. I did not even have an official identity. All my
life I had received the very best money could buy. Everything had been so simple
and natural, one easy, obvious option after the other. I was totally unprepared
for anything involving such a wrenching dilemma like this. I felt dizzy,
disoriented and very afraid.
I obsessively scanned the same pages in
the newspaper several times, hoping to gleam something new, a ray of hope,
perhaps, something I had misread earlier. But, of course, nothing changed and
the situation remained bleak. As much as I focused on my father’s fate, I also
needed to find out what had happened to my sister. Had she been caught up in
the same imbroglio? There was nothing mentioned in the paper. If she had any
part in the scandal, it was not immediately obvious. The fear or flight battle
taking part inside of me then flared back into life: I could go and find her!
At least to see where she might be? It had been months of zero contact and I
needed to know what had happened. The impulsive side to my character, the one
that had led me to this point, again took hold of the reins. I knew that on a
normal day Katherine’s assistant would return after several hours. That gave me
more than enough time to work my way to my sister’s apartments, several blocks
away. I grabbed a light coat from my former wardrobe and tried to cover my
ill-fitting, drab uniform as best I could and headed out of the building to
see.