by
BigBird74
We can all relate to that feeling of unease commonly
referred to as our sixth sense. Perhaps it is a series of discreet signals
picked up unwittingly over a period of time? Maybe it really is some form of
extra-sensory perception, some invisible set of antenna that pick up a sense of
danger? Whatever it is, Dahlia had first felt it as she finished her duties
that night. As usual she had gone to the guest’s room that evening following
the conclusion of her duties, only to find that the guest was no longer there.
Disappointment rippled through Dahlia as the cheap thrill of playing maid and
cleaner to the guest was denied to her. She found herself lingering in the room
for far longer than she could reasonably explain, hoping that the missing woman
would reappear and she could play the role of dutiful servant once more.
In the end it was only the appearance of Ms Nechita at the door that forced her to move on. The older woman motioned for Dahlia to leave and watched as the red faced and very fat cleaner eased her bulk past her and out of the room. The staggering extent of Dahlia’s transformation never ceased to amaze Ms Nechita. The doctor has told her to expect a significant amount of weight gain, but the reality was far in excess of anything they had thought possible. The professional inside of her winced a little at the numerous malpractices involved in their manipulation of the former supermodel, but the promise of a generous bonus had silenced her unsettled mind. No, Dahlia’s self-destruction was largely her own doing. She had convinced herself that she did not deserve all the gifts god had bestowed on her and all they had done was to open the door and show her the way. She watched as the former beauty turned and waddled slowly from the room, her fat thighs now starting to affect how she walked, making her rock a little from side to side.
“I will need you here early tomorrow. Our patient is
having her bandages and splint removed. The results are being assessed as we
speak,” Ms Nechita called after her.
That was when Dahlia first felt her spine tingle. The
thought of seeing the woman she now served, at least indirectly, provoked
conflicting sensations within her. The undeniable excitement of finally
unmasking the mystery patient was tempered by a sense that she might not want
to know who it was. After all it had to be someone who, like her, had to hide
herself from public view. This place was mightily expensive and open to a
select few. She had met so many people in her long career that she often found
it hard to put a name to a face. Once or twice, she had caught a sparkle in the
mystery woman’s eye that might have signalled recognition or familiarity. She
had trusted the doctor not to place her in danger. Even so, her nerves were on
edge and it took her a couple of hours to calm down enough to sleep.
The morning found Dahlia feeling no less nervous. A
night of broken sleep and restless dreaming left her feeling tired, though no
less eager to finally discover the identity of the woman downstairs. Showing a
distinct lack of patience, Dahlia dressed and ate rapidly, paying even less
heed to her appearance than she did normally. Her natural beauty meant that,
when in shape, she had not needed to spend a great deal of time at the mirror.
But since gaining weight and spending less time on her daily routine, her hair
was left lank and greasy and her skin had also suffered. She had always
suffered from occasional breakouts, when her face and chin would be covered in
a rash of small pimples that lasted a few days. However, lately, the breakouts
had become more frequent and seemed to last longer. Last night’s anxiety did
not seemed to have helped matters and Dahlia frowned at her fat face as she
looked at the fresh spots. Even if she had the time to cover them with
concealer or foundation, she had no access to such ‘luxuries’ anymore and found
herself too distracted to really worry.
Of course the girl Dahlia saw peering back at her in
the mirror was not the one everyone else saw. Dahlia’s sense of disorientation
was such that the image presenting itself inside of her head only partially
resembled that visible in the mirror. She did not see the ugly folds of fat
collecting under her chin. The layer of bloated skin that formed an
unattractive mask concealing her former beauty. The cropped wig not doing
anything to shield the harshness of her weight gain. None of this registered as
the former model hurried downstairs to the patient’s room.
Turning the corner into the corridor where the guest’s
suite was to be found, Dahlia saw Ms Nechita waiting for her. For a brief
moment, Dahlia fretted that she was late. However, as she drew nearer, it
became clear that the look on her supervisor’s face was not one of anger but
curiosity. Just what was she so curious about? The tension carried in Dahlia’s
belly made her courage falter a moment. Everything became a little clearer as
she reached the room, a light sweat coating her brow, a sign not only of her
poor levels of fitness, but a momentary peak in her anxiety.
“There you are Petra!” Ms Nechita exclaimed, her gaze
firmly inside the room. “We have a surprise for you.” What she said next proved
so jarring that, for a moment, Dahlia found herself literally speechless. “I’d
like you to meet Ms Western. I am sure you know her from the news.”
Dahlia looked at her supervisor with a bewildered
stare, as though she had misheard and was waiting for her to correct herself.
But she said nothing.
“Ms Western?” Dahlia paused, confused, a slight,
nervous smile now creasing her fat cheeks upwards. “What do you mean?” her
second question was answered when she stepped forwards to the doorway and
looked inside. At first the brightness of the room made it hard to see clearly.
The figure standing in front of her was obscured by the contrasting light, her
back to the window, through which beams of sunlight poured into the room. But
as her eyes adjusted and she took another step into the body of the room, what
she saw made her veins run cold.
Initially Dahlia felt she was staring into a mirror.
It was only when the ‘reflection’ spoke to her that she snapped out of her
trance like state.
“Hello Petra. It is nice to finally be able to talk to
you,” the woman smiled, her green doe eyes focused on the bloated form of the
cleaner. Dahlia staggered forwards, still unable to compute all that was
happening. Silently, she half circled the woman, noting how her posture
mirrored Dahlia’s exactly, or at least what it had been a few months before she
started scrubbing and cleaning. Her bearing was no longer as straight or
perfect as it had been. The substantial weight she carried on her chest and
tummy unbalanced her and made her stoop a little. Perhaps the servitude to
which she had committed herself was also having an effect: that inability of
those of a lower status to look their social ‘betters’ directly in the eye. Ms
Nechita had spent the past months gradually dragging Dahlia’s previously lofty
outlook down to the level inhabited by the ‘invisible’ army of workers who had
little choice but to toil every day for their meagre earnings. Unwittingly,
Dahlia had come to respect Ms Nechita for her position alone, accepting she was
of a lower station. That would have been impossible before, when Dahlia would
have dismissed her as a mere cleaner. To someone looking down from on high, there
was little to distinguish the two.
Dahlia had been one of the beautiful people and
‘Petra’ was the root opposite, not only in appearance, but in social outlook.
During her time at the clinic, she had grown used to being bossed about, to
feeling less than others, somewhat insecure. Her naturally submissive persona,
long buried and hidden beneath her beauty and status, was now her dominant
trait. The real Dahlia? The old Dahlia? The former Dahlia? No-one could be sure
what she was now. All they could see was Petra, a loathsome figure to those
that judged her only by what they saw. No longer able to rely on her looks,
‘Petra’ felt defenceless and stammered as she felt the room spin around.
“What is going on here? Who is this? I… I.” She
finally managed to say, rallying what was left of her old confidence.
“This is Dahlia Western. Surely you know her? She was
the face of Diabolique up until her breakdown a few months ago.” Ms Nechita
carried on speaking even after Dahlia angrily turned to face her, her porcine face
red and flustered.
“She is not the real Dahlia, I am!” she shouted,
dramatically ripping the short, cropped wig from off her head to reveal her
creased lifeless hair underneath. Dahlia had sorely miscalculated that moment.
If she thought that by simply removing her wig, she would somehow reveal her
true identity, she was in for a rude awakening. The jolt to her system
generated by the shock she had just received had acted like a reboot, opening
her eyes to the reality of her situation for the first time in months, the fog
in her head finally dissipating.
The imposter had been admiring the effects of her
surgery in a long mirror brought in for the unveiling. Shifting her weight to
one side, she cleared Dahlia’s view to the mirror. The reflection now confronting
her was not the image she had seen just ten minutes before. At first, she
struggled to understand who she was looking at. The grossly fat woman with the
large pendulous mounds hanging from her chest, which seemed to rest on her
flabby belly. Her thick hips and thighs made it hard to see exactly where her
upper and lower torso began, leaving one with the impression of a large
shapeless mass, all covered in a drab grey dress. The folds of fat that
surrounded her face, disguising her small features underneath her rounded
cheeks and chins, were covered in that light outbreak of acne. Her hair,
previously her crowning glory was a matted greasy mess.
Dahlia took a step towards the appalling image,
lifting her podgy fingers to her face to confirm what she feared most. The
whole room seemed to shudder as she saw the fleshy figure follow her movements
and confirm that it was indeed her. For a moment she felt she might collapse as
the dreadful prospect became more and more real by the second. The crimson hue
in her cheeks showed how ashamed she felt as she realised the enormity of what
she had done to herself. The feeling was like awakening from a deep but vivid
dream and slowly realising what was real and was not. The effect was so
disorienting that, for a brief moment, she even questioned whether she had ever
been slim.
It was at that moment that the guest spoke again.
“Petra? Is something wrong? You seem to be light headed,” she asked. This only
helped to magnify Dahlia’s angst. Her voice! It sounded just like her own. The
accent was similar; the tone positive and engaging. Even the distinctive twang
in how she and her sister pronounced some words was there!
“Wait. You? Is that you, Melissa?” Dahlia asked
warily, fearing she may sound ridiculous, but the more she thought on it, the
more it seemed the only explanation. The woman smiled as if to confirm her
suspicions, prompting Dahlia to step back again, trying to take in all that was
happening.
“Someone had to do something to help,” Melissa replied
coldly, “You were no longer yourself and seemed to be set on pulling everything
down with you. Look at you! You are a disgusting, fat mess.”
Dahlia felt like running from the room, suddenly
overwhelmed by the enormity of her shame and helplessness. Just at that moment,
the grim reality of what she had done to herself was revealing itself. Waking
from what had been a long dream, Dahlia was struggling to recall exactly what
was real and not real. Had she not been fat for some weeks? She could remember
seeing her limbs thicken, her belly fatten, her face fill out, but it had not
seemed real to her or she had simply forgotten. It all seemed as though it was
happening to someone else. What she did not understand was that she had been
conditioned to interpret the reality as something else. Instead she was left
wondering how she had let herself go like this!
The lifting of the fog shrouding her mind for so long,
though sudden, did not strike her as anything suspicious. All she felt was
shame at what she had done. Dahlia could think of no-one to blame but herself.
“Now that you have proven that you are not capable of
controlling yourself,” Melissa continued softly, her voice once again soft and
redolent of the privilege a woman of her looks and status would enjoy. “You
will need to adapt to a new role in life.”
Dahlia shook physically. Her vast bulk trembled as
though her body may explode at any moment. She stared at the floor, finding it
impossible to lift her eyes and meet anyone else’s gaze. Remaining silent as
her sister spoke, Dahlia was consumed with questions that needed answering,
though she found herself utterly unable to assert herself in any way. The
complete shock of the moment had shaken her confidence to its core and risked
engulfing her completely.
Of course Melissa was fully aware of this and pushed a
little harder. “When the last of the bruising has recovered, we will be
leaving. This place is too expensive and I need to return home. There is a
comeback to be staged and, after all these months away from public glare, a
career to resuscitate.” Melissa’s confident manner belied the anxiety she was
in fact experiencing. At any moment, she expected Dahlia to fight back, but
there were no sign of it happening. As the minutes ticked by, she grew more
confident that this was working, that she was literally ‘becoming’ Dahlia. The
surgery had worked far better than she had expected, imbuing her with a sense
of the possible. Now Dahlia seemed to be wilting rapidly, accepting her place
in this new hierarchy. Yes. Melissa was now the slim, beautiful one that, when
speaking, people listened to eagerly, waiting for her to shine a little light
their way. She smiled, considering how arrogant that sounded. But it only
reflected how she felt at that moment.
“Of course, you will be looked after. Just you will
need to work for it, Petra.” Melissa repeated that awful name, knowing that it
would only add to Dahlia’s shame with the erotic overtones it carried.
Listening to Melissa speak, Dahlia could only shiver at
how close she came to being a perfect copy of her before all this had started.
The voice was perfect. Her beauty shimmered and was the equal of anything
Dahlia herself had managed this past few years. Indeed, Melissa’s body looked
tighter and leaner than hers had for many years. Her hair was coiffured
perfectly and was styled so that a stray curl hung seductively over one eye –
just the way she always had preferred it. Melissa looked wonderful. She had
also perfected the way in which her body moved. Her mannerisms, the way her
arms moved, the nonchalance with which she cocked her head when listening, or
how she stood with her weight on one leg to accentuate her curves. To anyone
that knew Dahlia even reasonably well, Melissa would appear an exact copy.
That prompts a question: other than her sister, was
there anyone left alive that knew Dahlia well enough to spot anything
suspicious? When the thought struck her, she considered it very unlikely.
Perhaps Tommy? Maybe her closer assistants? She felt sick when she realised the
answer was probably no-one.
“Petra? Did you hear me? You will need to work to stay
under my roof.” Melissa’s pointed question was designed to drive home the fact
that Dahlia had really lost control now. She could feel she was close to pushing
her sister off a cliff face and into the chasm below, taking all she was and
forcing her to live a new, more humble existence. Then, suddenly, fearful of
where this was leading, Dahlia finally pushed back.
“I… I am Dahlia. You cannot do this… it is wrong,” she
stammered, clearly at a loss.
Melissa met her protest with a confident sneer. “Shall
we see whether the press agree with that? Dahlia Western has a press conference
in three days. Who is going to go? You or me?” Her tone was demanding, short
and, ultimately, demeaning, implying how Dahlia would meet with ridicule if she
dared to show herself. “You look terrible. You would destroy yourself and take
your name down with you. You willingly did this to yourself. You wanted it.
Admit it, you wanted to lose your life as a supermodel. We both know you cannot
handle it!” Then, knowing the effect it would have on her sister, she preyed on
the very doubt that had started all this. “You do not deserve it. You never
deserved it. You simply had it all handed to you on a plate. I have worked for
this. I DO deserve it.”
And so it went on for a few more minutes in a similar
vein. It reached the point that Dahlia, like a punch-drunk boxer on the ropes,
simply gave up. The humiliation was so acute that she could no longer retain
any sense of proportion. How could she manage a press conference in three days?
She was caught in a trap of her own making. How could she have been so foolish?
Melissa started to shut the conversation down. “Go and
attend to my bathroom. It needs a clean,” she barked at Dahlia, who was now in
complete shock and unable to think straight. As she hurried out of the room,
closing the door behind her, with tears in her eyes, she heard light laughter
ripple through the closed door.
Yes!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see this continued.
Ho hum; more cheap melodrama, as expected, though dressed up with competent prose and generous dabs of psychobabble.
ReplyDeleteThe end? Probably not, but one may hope. Perhaps BigBird74 will seize this opportunity to declare victory and go home.
ReplyDeleteSo far so good, as far as I`m concerned!
ReplyDeleteYou can't please everyone, especially the chastity belt sycophants that think the other writer here is some sort of literary genius, spoiler she's not.
ReplyDeleteBigbird is doing a great job of delivering this story, I don't know why you think he would be finished, it's just getting to the best bits.
Finally something worth visiting the blog for again!
"Bigbird is doing a great job of delivering this story," That's the odd thing about BigBird. His delivery is excellent, but what's in the package being delivered? If the characters are not believable, and the plot would have been hackneyed in the age of penny dreadfuls, delivery doesn't count for much.
DeleteAnd the characters of the chastity chain gang are anywhere near being believable?
DeleteIt's a fantasy story quite clearly, no one thinks this would actually happen.
Get over yourself.
"[I] don't know why you think he would be finished..." Well, the story is up to 46 chapters. (!) It has passed the point at which the original left off. The Great Revelation, such as it was, has happened. What else can follow that won't be anticlimactic, at best?
Delete(!) Your replies are anticlimactic.
DeleteThe reworking of the original short story was never finished because of the tragic passing of the author.
How about you show a little respect and keep your negative comments to yourself?
The obvious place to go from here would be to detail the process of the evil doctor getting his just deserts. That could be interesting, if done well. It would give the tale symmetry, at least.
DeleteYes, the doctor hasn't gotten anything from this yet.
DeleteHe needs to see his plan through to fruition, take a cut of the Western fortune and earn himself a part time cleaner.
Perhaps the doctor will be caught as he attempts to cash in, lose his medical license, and be sent to prison. Then, after his release, the disgraced former physician would be compelled to work as a cleaner to survive. Since this isn't a JackieJ story, at least he will be spared a chastity belt and bobbed hair, but that still leaves a lot of scope for depicting his ruin in vivid detail. Perhaps shame and depression will lead him to alcoholism and overeating, so he too will end up morbidly obese. (Which would be reminiscent in some ways of the original, completed version of "The Cleaner".)
DeleteWOW! at last the story continnues. I love the moment when 'Petra' comesfaceto face with MIss Dahlia Western. It seems Melissa will do everything thing to be her.. The press confirmence in 3 days is a great touc.h/ I believe Melissa will enjoy thatgetting the glory lso the new Pettra will have to work as cleaner in what was once her mansion being bossed by the new super model, who will have her fame *& her money. I am looking forward to more
ReplyDeleteThe comment sections on this site can get rather quite toxic, is it any wonder less content is being submitted...
ReplyDelete- Vessantia
You're right. A lot of the comments are mean spirited and made by 'Anonymous' people who've probably never contributed anything to the genre. Constructive criticism is fine - snide comments are not at all.
DeleteI was a great fan of the original by Emma and was very sad for her family and young child when she died. This is different despite having some of the same characters and a similar but different plot line. I find it perfectly well written and as plausible as anything is in this type of fiction. And fiction is the whole point - the chances of this happening in real life are as near zero as makes no different so just suspend disbelief and either enjoy the ride or don't read.
Thnks Big Bird - just remember there's a very intriguing unfinished story of yours out there crying out for attention.
R
"[T]he chances of this happening in real life are as near zero as makes no different so just suspend disbelief and either enjoy the ride or don't read." "Robyn Hoode",(almost certainly a pseudonym,ironically) is misunderstanding or deliberately misconstruing what literary plausibility means. It has nothing to do with real-world probability or plausibility. It is a matter of plausibility within the literary framework the author is creating. It is a matter of creating characters and plot that are internally consistent and depicted with enough depth and psychological realism to seem believable. J. R. R. Tolkien managed it with hobbits and elves. It is not asking too much of BigBird74 to manage it with humans in unlikely situations. If he can't. then he should be writing in some other genre in which he can do the necessaries. "Suspension of disbelief" is something an author has to earn from the reader. It is not something an author, or her/his sycophants, has a right to demand.
DeleteWhen we read fiction, in effect we are saying to the author, "I am giving you permission to lie to me, but not to insult my intelligence. Keep your lies consistent, vivid, and above all, entertaining, and we can have fun together."
""Robyn Hoode",(almost certainly a pseudonym..." what really?!
DeleteFuck me you're smart I bet noone else figured that out, well done you, Billy big brain.
Last time I checked Tolkien was a published author whose work you had to purchase, how about you stop holding amateur writers who offer their work for free to the same level and go slag off something you had to pay for.
Until then Mr A. Reader (duh I don't think that's his real name) if you want to feel like a big man, fuck off down the model village.
Twat.
There's certainly toxicity to be found in the comments. Oddly, it seldom comes from those commenting on the story itself. Pretty much all the negative comments about stories are measured and specific ones. The toxicity comes primarily from those who want to shut down any negative comments, on general principle. Maybe it's an American thing, the "Love it or leave" attitude.
DeleteInterestingly, Mr Charles Ryder says nothing that expresses actual disagreement with the comments that he is denouncing. In effect, he is saying "Maybe it's bad writing, but it's free bad writing", not precisely an endorsement many writers would cherish. Semicoherent anger and vulgarity do not literary arguments make.
DeleteRegarding the toxicity of the comment section ... I concur. I love both authors. Both create great imagery in their stories and are a great Fedor to their genre. I look forward to every update and new story. Some of you are impossible to please and it's tiresome reading the same lame negative comments.
ReplyDeleteFedor = credit ... autocorrect fail.
DeleteGuys, here we go again. Please refrain from personal direct insults. I am sure you are capable of having a meaningful conversation without name calling and cheap attacks. Otherwise I'd have to delete a lot of the comments or close this section altogether.
ReplyDelete