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Friday, September 16, 2022

Story: The Bridge Player

Inspired by the classic 1960s Bunty cartoon, The Imposter. Please welcome a new blog contributor, George. 

The bridge player

By George (G.T.)

Victoria Perkins lived in a small country mansion with her parents. She came home from a private boarding school just two weeks ago. She had barely seen her parents for years. In addition to them, the house was inhabited by a butler, a cook, a housekeeper, and a maid. With the exception of the young maid, all employees were at least fifty years old.

Someone knocked on her door in the morning. The maid asked permission to come in to put a fire in the fireplace. Victoria didn't want to get out of the good warm bed into the cold room. She watched the maid work. Her black dress reached to her ankles. The sleeve of the dress ended in a tight white cuff at the wrists. She had a tight white neck strap around her neck all the way to her chin. Maid Mary was embroidered on it. A white maid's hat covered her hair. She wore simple little hoop earrings in her ears. Her white apron reached almost to her neck. Two wide shoulder straps go to the apron's back. In the back she tied the apron around her waist with a big bow. Anyway, Mary was like her. The girl's age, stature, face, even eyes were similar to Victoria's. There was only one difference. Mary's hair is straight and Victoria's curly. Victoria knew this from the fact that Mary's cap had once fallen as she scrubbed the stone in the hallway. The housekeeper immediately struck her with a wand from punishment.

 

Mary also noticed this similarity. She was annoyed at how easy Victoria's life was just because she was born into a wealthy family. But she, who was born poor, is forced to work from morning to night. If she were Victoria, she could wear beautiful silk dresses, wear expensive jewelries, just sit comfortably on the couch and read her books. She could command to others and not have to fear Miss Higgins. The housekeeper treated her very harshly, and if she didn’t do something the way Miss Higgins wanted her, she hit her ass with a stick. She also noticed that Victoria was often watching her as she did her maid duties. Maybe she can still use that to her advantage. At last the fire started to burn.

„Your room will soon be warm Miss Victoria!” said Mary.


“Oh Mary! You are so hardworking! You know, sometimes I envy you. Sometimes I wish I was in your place! My life is so boring.” said Victoria.

“We can easily help with that! We are very similar! If you help curl my hair and lend me one of your clothes, no one could tell that I’m not Miss Victoria! And if you were to wear my uniform and mob cap, it would be obvious to everyone that you are Mary, the maid! I guarantee you won't be bored!”

 "How marvellous! Are you sure you won't be angry if I take your place? What if I were maid Mary until dinner and you were Miss Victoria? Would you mind? I want to see with my own eyes what a maid's life is like!”

“Come on! I'm glad to help you!” said Mary.

“This is fantastic! And even she apologizes and thinks I'm doing her a favor!” Mary thought with a smile. And she couldn't wait to be Miss Victoria.

Victoria pulled out the curling iron to make Mary's hair as curly as hers. It became perfect. Then the maid gave her the uniform and cap. She took the gold earrings from Victoria's ears, took the gold chain from her neck, and pulled the gold rings off her fingers.

“A maid doesn’t wear gold jewelry! But don't worry, they won't lost! I'll wear them, so everyone can really see me as Miss Victoria!” Mary told the protesting girl.

She put her own metal ring on Victoria's finger. The thick metal ring also had the inscription "Maid Mary." She finally put the cheap little hoops in her ears.

“Here you are maid Mary! Don’t forget, you’re just a simple maid! Don't look anyone in the eye, but lower your head like a maid needs! Even if they call, you can only enter the living room or the rooms if you knock and get permission! And made a curtsy after entering or before exiting!” said Mary laughing out loud, and she dressed too.

Victoria's mouth was open from what she saw in the mirror. Mary and Victoria looked back at her, but now she was maid Mary and the maid became Miss Victoria. Victoria, who stood beside the uniformed maid in her beautiful silk dress with gold jewelry and curly hair. She touched the white neckband with the inscription “Maid Mary”. “As if I really were Mary! No one would notice the exchange, not even myself.” she thought to herself.

“Well maid Mary Hunter, are you ready to do the maid works? Then go, because Miss Higgins will be angry! You don't want she hit your butt with her wand, do you? And from now call me as Miss Victoria! Go to the kitchen maid Mary! ” commanded "Victoria."

"Yes, Miss Victoria." the “maid” replied with her head bowed and made a curtsy before going out the door.

“I can’t believe I did it! I'm Mary Hunter, the maid!” Victoria thought cheerfully. Entering the kitchen, Miss Higgins greeted her.

“Well here you are Mary! Where have you been roaming for so long? Useless lazy girl! Help the cook because lunch won't be ready in time! Set the table for lunch, then put charcoal in the stoves, because  it's cold! And after lunch, wash the bedding, wipe off the dust in the rooms and scrub the hallway's stones!” said Miss Higgins sternly.

Victoria didn't stop for a minute until dinner. One job followed another. In the meantime, she had to bring tea or cake for "Miss Victoria" several times. Mary enjoyed being served and curtsyed by her mistress. “It’s a great life! Too bad it ends in a few hours. But why should it end? Isn't it much better to be Miss Victoria forever?” Mary thought.

Victoria is very tired for the evening. She couldn't wait to meet the maid and replace them. Meanwhile, she thought, Mary was telling the truth. She really wasn't bored. She didn't have time for it. She approached the maid and asked to be change back.

“What are you talking about, Mary? What kind of exchange do you mention, you stupid girl? I'm Miss Victoria, not you!” "Victoria" laughed mockingly.

Victoria's parents came to the loud discussion. Mary, still laughing, told them:
“This girl ate crazy mushrooms! She thinks she's Victoria and I'm her maid. We don't even look like each other!”

“She really is. Just look at yourself in the mirror Mary!” said Victoria's mother.

Victoria's face and hands were really dirty from a lot of work. She really didn’t look like her old self at all.

“Nonsense! My daughter would never allow her maid to wear her jewelry and clothes! Not to mention never would wearing a maid's dress, apron and cap! And I see Mary wearing her maid's ring. That proves who the maid really is! The debate is closed! You can choose Mary: either stop this nonsense and get away with punishing you by Miss Higgins, or I'll fire you right away. Plus, I’ll give you such a cover letter that you’ll have a hard time getting a job. So which one?” said the father.

It wasn't hard for Victoria to choose. Where could she go? She didn't know what punishment she'd get, but she didn't think about the sticks. She received a painful lesson. Miss Higgins did not spare.

“Say thank you to Lord Perkins for not firing you! And let such silly imagination be over! Even that you are a noble girl. Ridiculous!" said Miss Higgins with the wand in her hand.

"Thank you sir! It won't happen again." Victoria said in a hushed voice.

“I expect that, Mary! You won't have a choice next time!” said her father sternly.

Victoria had to stay longer as a maid. As the days went by, she got used to the hard work. Also that she had to bring breakfast to “Victoria” and her parents to their rooms. Serve them lunch and dinner. Meanwhile, everyone treated her like they used to with a maid. In the evenings she go to the little maid's room, slept on a simple bed in a cheap nightgown that matched a maid's.

And Mary enjoyed the life of a noble girl. A comfortable bed with beautiful clothes. And she especially loved being able to treat Victoria as a maid. She quickly learned to play bridge from her “mother”. They went to the neighbors to play cards regularly and Mary proved to be a very good player. She also learned to ride to the delight of her “father”. None was succes for Victoria. She found the rules of the bridge too complicated and she afraid of horses.

Months have passed. Then, more and more, Mary didn’t respond appropriately to the conversations about the family. And she was once catastrophically mistaken for a simple question. I mean, it would have been easy if Mary had really been Victoria. This raised the father's suspicions. Maybe it's true that they changed places? He called the maid, who, of course, knew the correct answer to every question. Everything turned out.

“My poor daughter! What did you go through! I am so sorry!" said her mother, embracing Victoria, who was still wearing her maid's uniform.

"You're fired! Get your things together and disappear!” said the father to Mary.
 
"I do not think so! What if I told everyone that you considered Victoria a maid and took a maid to bridge parties? You would be ridiculed in front of everyone!” said Mary.

“Are you blackmailing us? Do you think I'm going to give you money? Be glad I don't take you to the police!” said the man.

“I don’t need money! I want my job!” said Mary.

“Let the girl stay here! After all, if I’m not curious about maids ’lives, it all doesn’t happen.” said Victoria.

The first day off brought Victoria a break. She didn’t have to work from early in the morning until late at night. She especially hated scrubbing the stone in the hallway. Cleaning the long hallway on all fours with a brush and a bucket of water was very tiring. The next day, however, she was already bored. She missed the job she was used to in her more than four-month maid service. She finally figured out how to made a revenge. She constantly commanded the maid. She rang her, then when Mary came in, sending her back, as she change her mind. As soon as Mary returned to the kitchen, she rang again. She brought herself a glass of water with the maid.

"Come on, it stinks!" she said in disgust and poured it on the floor.

"Mop it up!" she ordered, pointing to the wet spot.

“Yes, Miss Victoria. I'm already bringing the mop.” said Mary.

Mary endured everything, but she memorized everything. She waited for her time to come again and pay for everything. She didn't have to wait long. Just a few days later, Lady Perkins said to Victoria:
“I don’t know what to do. My niece, who we played last week, sent a message, would like to come over, to a bridge party tonight, but you can’t play! How do I tell her Mary was playing for you?”

Mary cleaned up nearby and heard everything. She felt her time had come. She came over and said,

“May I intervene, Lady Perkins? Why should her be told? Then I'll take Victoria's place and play. No one will notice, since I’ve been playing so far. And Victoria is taking my place again as a maid! We can already change clothes!”

“Great idea! Go Victoria! Elizabeth will be here soon!” said the Lady.

“But mother! You can't seriously say, that I will become a maid again! I was a maid for more than four months!” indignant Victoria.

“Then you can stand a few more hours in that uniform! We need a maid! We need someone to serve drinks and cake us while we playing! And you became the perfect maid in four months! You would have learned to play bridge! Then we wouldn't need that.” she said.

“Your mother is right! Don't put us in a delicate position! Go and change right now! ” commanded strictly by the Lord.

"Perfect! You would be fooling anyone who looks at you. You really are like the real Mary. I’m sorry I was so strict with you and hit you many times, but who would have thought that it wasn’t Mary but Miss Victoria who wore the maid’s uniform? Now, however, Lord Perkins has instructed me to treat you like a real maid. And that includes corporal punishment, because the Lady can't notice anything! But it won't hurt if you obey. And now go to the kitchen Mary!” ordered Miss Higgins after checking that Victoria's uniform was appropriate.

“Mary” helped the cook in the kitchen, who didn’t really know who she was. They heard a ring.

“The guests have arrived! Go Mary and lead them into the salon!” said the cook.

Victoria adjusted her cap and went out to open the door. In the doorway stood a young lady and a girl in a shabby dress.

“I am Lady Elizabeth Barrymore. Your misstress is waiting for me. Lead me to her, girl!” she said. She didn't even introduce the girl.

“Yes, Lady Barrymore. Please follow me.” Victoria said, and made a curtsy.

She introduced the lady to the salon, then went back to the girl. Now she noticed that there were two huge suitcases and two smaller bags behind the girl. She didn't understand why.

"Hello! I'm Rose. Lady Elizabeth Barrymore's maid. I can see on your neckband that you are called Mary. Let's be friends Mary! Let's take the Lady's clothes to her room, then let's go to your room. I want to change. The Lady expects me to wear my uniform and help you.” Rose said.

Victoria didn't understand anything. Mary came to them in one of Victoria's beautiful silk dresses, jewelries, with beautiful hair, and said:

“Bring the suitcases to the guest room girls! And Lady Elizabeth's maid will sleep with you Mary. They will stay with us for two weeks. ”

“It wasn’t about that! And I'm not happy about that!” Victoria said angrily.

“I’m not asking my maid what she’d be happy about! Just obey me Mary!” “Victoria” snapped angrily and left them.

“Who was this girl? Your mistress's daughter? As if I had already seen her play bridge with my mistress. But you could be more obedient to her! I'm right? And don't be afraid that you will have more work to do here! My mistress brought me to help you. Two maids do the work more easily than one. You'll see!” Rose said.

“She is really my mistress’s daughter. She is Miss Victoria.” said "Mary." She didn't even notice what she was saying.

Rose changed clothes. Her uniform was like Victoria's, only she had the word "Rose" adorned her neckband. Rose was a year younger than Victoria. She had a very short black maid's hairstyle. Victoria asked if they were really going to stay for two weeks and who had invited them.

“For at least two weeks, but probably beyond. My mistress and your mistress are cousins. They both like to bridge. By the way, your mistress's daughter wrote a letter asking my mistress to come here for a few weeks and bring a maid with her.” Rose said.

“So you tricked me again Mary! I'll be working for you again for at least two weeks. Just wait Mary! In two weeks, you'll pay for making me a maid again! But why did you ask for a maid?” Victoria thought. She knocked on the salon door and when she got permission, she entered, curtysed, and tried to talk to her mother. she wanted to tell her that Mary was deceiving her again, but Mary wouldn't let her have a word.

“Bring us tea, Mary! But hurry you lazy girl! Don't let it get cold again when you get here!” she said sarcastically.

"Yes, Miss Victoria, but I want to say a few words to Lady Perkins first!" said Victoria.

“Don’t disobey, girl, but bring our tea! Or should I tell Miss Higgins? She will teach you how to mus obey a Maid!” said Mary menacingly.

Victoria did not dare to object. Not only was he afraid of being beaten, but also of Mary telling the Lady everything. She just silently made a curtsy, and brought the tea. She couldn't talk to her mother that day. Came the time for dinner, a long bridge party, and going to bed. The next morning, after breakfast, the two Ladies and “Miss Victoria” went for a ride. They only came back for lunch. Victoria watched with displeasure at how good friends Mary and Elizabeth had become. Rose saw this and said:

 "Do not worry about it! Rather, rejoice that Miss Victoria and my mistress have liked each other! Now she is sure to invite your mistress and her daughter to her wedding. Maybe you can come too. There will also be a lot of work due to the many guests. I need at least one more maid to help me!”

Victoria could never talk to her mother. Mary always intervened. She had no choice but to continue playing maid Mary. The two maids, on the other hand, worked together deftly. On Miss Higgins' instructions, Victoria cleaned the rooms, and she serving the food at every meal. It was Mary's idea. She wanted to see how Victoria served in her maid uniform.

Mary never missed a single opportunity to criticize her maid's work:

“My room is full of dust Mary! You didn't clean properly again! What a shame you look like! Adjust your apron! Stick your hair under your mob cap! I think I have to tell Miss Higgins to punish you!”

And Miss Higgins pulled out her wand. Afterwards, she always leaned over to Victoria, who was crying in pain, and whispered into her ear:

“Don’t get mad, Miss Victoria, but we have to watch out for appearances! We have to punish the maid if she has a complaint about her work! And always be pedantic! And always hide your hair!”

Victoria nodded. She is now a simple maid. If you want to make this believe with your guests, you have to put up with this too! So far, everything has gone well. Rose asked:

“Why does Miss Victoria hate you so much? She plays directly to get you punished. Did you do anything wrong to her? Did you burn her favorite clothes while ironing? Didn't you do such stupid things as trying on one of her clothes? No. You must not have gone until then! They would have been fired you a long time ago.”

Victoria didn't say a word. What could she have said? That she's Miss Victoria, and the girl in the silk dress Mary the maid? Rose wouldn't have believed her anyway. Because of her uniform, it would be really hard to believe Victoria wasn't Mary, the maid. This is also confirmed by the text of the neck strap. She just adjusted her mob cap and went to work.

The visit lasted more than a month. “Mary” and Rose almost became sisters. Of course, the same uniforms also contributed to this. On the last day, the two maids were called to the salon.

“Lady Elizebeth invited us to her wedding. Mary, you're leaving a little earlier than we are, because you have to help with the preparations! You travels with the Lady and her maid. Miss Higgins will employ a temporary maid while you are away.” Mary said with a smile.

Mary was very pleased. Her plan to take over Victoria's place for good is progressing well. When she found out that Lady Elizabeth was getting married, she quickly invited her to join her. It was not hard. She loves to play bridge and ride. There will be plenty of opportunities for both here. In return, Mary was be sure the Lady to invite them to her wedding. So it was. She told the Lady to bring her maid with her, and now take their maid with her to help. All you have to do now is get “Mary” to stay there forever. Nor can this be difficult to deal with. And then she could be Victoria forever! Victoria's parents  had not noticed the exchange for more than four months. How easily they were deceived by the maid's uniform. If Mary had known the family stories better, they might never have noticed that the one they were raising as their daughter was a maid and the uniform was worn by their own daughter. And just days after their daughter become a noble girl again, they had already accepted her offer to have Victoria be the uniformized maid again. She didn't even have to argue. The cobweb Mary was woven grew tighter and tighter around Victoria. Not much was left for complete success.

“I think it really will be the best. Get ready for the trip Mary! Pack your uniforms! You will need them!” said Victoria's mother. Now, in that one month, Victoria's mother and Lady Elizabeth have become very close spiritually. She hadn't even known that Elizabeth was getting married. And now Elizabeth had invited them to the wedding. She was grateful to Victoria (to Mary) for inviting her here. After the rides, the three of them talked a lot. She was surprised at how quickly Mary was learning. Her manners, her speech, were quite like those of the real Victoria. She can even comment on old family events. It was as if the two girls hadn't even exchanged. Of course, she didn’t know that in the evenings, Mary studies family photo albums and asks the cook questions about the pictures and ask her to tells old family events to her. She wants to know everything better than the real Victoria. She didn't want to fall again if someone want to decide with family issues who the real Victoria was.

Victoria looked at her mother in shock. She treats her and talks like she's really Mary, the maid. Then she remembered that Miss Elizabeth was standing next to her mother. Obviously, she treats her like a maid, because if the truth is revealed, it can be a scandal and the wedding attendance is over. Maybe Elizabeth will be mad at her mother forever. It will be better to maintain the appearance that she is the maid and Mary is Miss Victoria.

"Yes, Mistress! As you command!” Victoria said with her head down and made a curtsy, as usual.

"Good girl! Now go, because in an hour here is the horse-drawn carriage that will take you home.” said “Victoria” still smiling.

The two maids made curtsy, and left the salon.

“I’m so glad you'll come with us! You will help me. Our housekeeper is Ingrid Fischer. German and very strict. Call her always as Frau Fisher! Just obey to her and you won't be in trouble!” Rose said.

The journey took a long time with the horse-drawn carriage. An old woman was waiting for them at the door. Bowing properly, she greeted the Lady, then turned to Victoria and said in bad English mixed with German:

“You are a maid of Lord Perkins, ja? Nah sehr gut. Did you come to help, ja? Dress up! Work a lot, start for her! Los los! ”

"Yes Frau Fischer!" said the two girls and curtsied.
They brought in the suitcases. And they went into the maid's room to change. The housekeeper came in soon.

“Let me see how you dress. Ja sehr gut! Aber maid Mary! Your hair is too long and not black. Yeah, aber jetzt is right. We'll fix it tomorrow, ja. Dirty clothes in the laundry, then head to the kitchen! Madame is hungry. Help the cook, then set the table! Scnell schnell! Otherwise you get a stick on your back, ja!” she said, waving her stick in the air.

If Victoria had considered the work of the maids hard so far, she was wrong. It's got a lot harder now. In the evening, they almost fell into bed and became so tired.

The housekeeper came to them early in the morning to cut and dye Victoria's hair. Victoria wanted to protest, but Frau Fisher slammed the stick down her butt.

“Nix protest! I know housekeeper Higgins. She's too soft-hearted! There's no discoussion  here! Here's the rule! Maid muss short black hair! Sit down! Frau Fischer will make you a regular maid. Jetzt!” she said.

She forced the crying Victoria into a chair and made her the maid's hairstyle.

“Don't cry girl! Du bist schön! And that short hair is more practic and doesn't hang out from under your cap,” she said.

The wedding preparations lasted for days. There was a lot of work to be done. Many guests arrived on the day of the wedding. Of course, “Miss Victoria” as well as her “parents”. The bride was beautiful. The two maids dressed her up. Of course, the maids were not allowed to go to church. They were left with the job. Set the table for dinner, then serve it, and finally wash it off. Victoria put up more and more with her fate. The fact that she had been a maid for almost half a year contributed greatly to this. And now her hair has been cut. What would her mother say if she saw her with this maid's hairstyle? Mary also told her when she once managed to talk to her face to face:

“It’s better if your mother doesn’t see you like that! How about she seeing her only little daughter with this maid's hairstyle? She would definitely not be happy for this! Your hair will grow out again. Unless frau Fischer cuts it again. I'm right, maid Mary?”

Victoria felt the corrosive mockery in Mary's voice. This again aroused her anger at the maid wearing her favorite silk dress. She was about to give a sharp answer when Elizabeth entered. Victoria curtsyed and left silently.

Elizabeth asked what the maid wanted. Mary quickly turned the situation to her advantage.

“Do you remember saying you'll went to your parents’, to honeymoon in India? You need someone to stay here and take care of the property! Mary suggested I take it, and she's right!” said Mary.

“Would you really take it? This is so great! Frau Fischer will help you with everything. Your parents are ready getting home. Do you want me to talk to them?” Elizabeth said.

“Yes, I ask for it. And I want to keep my own maid here! And Rose could go with my parents. She will have a good place in our house. Miss Higgins is not as strict as Frau Fischer.” Mary said, and she was very pleased. "It couldn't have been better!" she thought.

Rose didn’t object when “Victoria” told her to go with her parents and be their maid. Why would she do that? She was promised more pay and less work and rigor. She was a little surprised when “Victoria” said, the whole thing was Mary’s idea, but she didn’t understand what was good in this to the girl. "Mary is a lovely girl, but there is something strange about her. Maybe she like rigor? Or do her cling so much to Miss Victoria? Or both." Rose thought.

Victoria's parents were at first amazed that their daughter had taken care of Elizabeth's house, but when they read "Victoria's" letter, they calmed down. Their daughter is herself again, and Mary is her maid.

“Dear mother and father!
I was very happy when Elizabeth offered me her house. Before this i told her everything and imagine, she is not angry at all! She just asks us not to tell anyone about this exchange thing because it would be very inconvenient for her! She herself never wants to hear from it again! Mary was forced to put up with being just a simple maid. Sure, she’d be happier if she could be the rich Miss Victoria Perkins, but she has to give up on that! Anyway, I'm here with her. I better see what she wants to do. Let's not her to come up with some nonsense again! And don't forget Grandma's birthday! Hug her in my name too and give her a bouquet of red roses too! I will also learn to bridge and ride. I will be as good a player and rider as Mary. Even better!


Your daughter, Victoria.”

“I’m glad everything went well! Mary can no longer threaten our daughter! And you see, she're not afraid of horses anymore! My daughter!" the Lord said proudly to his wife.

"Yes darling! And she didn't forget my mother's birthday either! And not that her favorite is the red rose! And Mary won't be a problem for us anymore! Victoria has cleverly solved this problem as well.” the Lady replied with a smile.

However, Victoria did not know how smart and skillful a girl she was. Kneeling in her uniform, she rubs the stone floor. In the meantime, she waited to go home. She heard a car rattle. She ran to the window. She saw the horse-drawn carriage with her parents and Elizabeth's maid just rolling out the gate.

“Los los! Du must schneller arbaiten! Maid Rose said, Miss Victoria was mad at you. Now I know why, ja! Miss said you were a little crazy, ja. Sometimes you think you're a noble girl. You are Miss Victoria. Ridiculous! You are a maid! Then I'll make sure this fool doesn't get in your head again, ja! A new gardener is coming soon, ja. I know. Pretty boy. If you become a good maid, we'll catch  him to you as a husband, ja!” Victoria heard from behind her.

 “I think Elizbeth and her husband will never come back. Among the guests was Jekaterina Orlov with her family. Upscale Russian aristocratic family. They have a son. I looked out for myself. He will be a good husband for me. I hope, Elizabeth will lease this property to us. And Mr. Orlov wants to lease part of father's estate. He would pay a lot of money for it. Dad will be happy. Also, if I tell him I got him the deal. We will have a nice life here. I will be Lady Victoria Orlov. And you will remain my maid, Mary. Of course, only if you don't start talking nonsense again! But if you do, I'll take you to an asylum! There you can tell everyone who you are!” thought with a laugh "Victoria."


15 comments:

  1. This is a fun story and it must be hard to write in a second language but this is really hard to read. A quick editing job would have made this so much better.

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  2. Pourquoi faut-il toujours que tes histoires se finissent mal ?

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  3. Ich habe diese Geschichte einfach geliebt, und ich habe sie ziemlich gut verstanden. Meine Frage ist: Warum träumen dumme Prominente davon, ein Dienstmädchen der unteren Klasse zu werden, und denken, es wäre eine wunderbare Erfahrung?

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    1. The answer to your question is quite simple. The person in the privileged position believes that they (in this case "she") is superior in all ways and that they are infallible. Victoria thinks that she can control the situation and dictate how everything will develop. Taking that position and dealing with narcissism proved to be a fatal flaw for Victoria. The absent-mindedness of Victoria's parents contributed to Victoria's plight and downfall. Mary, the maid, was determined to improve her life and her future. Seizing upon the circumstances provided Mary with her pathway to the privileged class while Victoria's parents failed to look out for their daughter's welfare. Also, Victoria failed to look out for her own position and circumstances which led to her dreary future outlook.

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  4. That was great. I hope to see more work from you

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  5. Danke Anonym. Ich glaube, Sie haben ganz recht.

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  6. I enjoyed this story and I hope to see more from this author as they develop as a writer. Mary sprang her trap nicely on poor Victoria.

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  7. I enjoyed this story, although I found it difficult to follow in places.
    I liked it well enough that I would be willing to help the author render it into more conventional English, if George would like that.
    Here is the opening passage as I would rewrite it:
    "Victoria Perkins awoke to a knock at her door. She'd only been home from boarding school for two weeks, after spending years away. It was still strange to find herself at her parents' home, living with them, their butler, cook and housekeeper, with only Mary the maid as someone her own age in the household."
    If George is interested, he could contact me at arcadiaberger@protonmail.com

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    1. I sent you an email.
      George

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    2. Hey did you get to improve the story? I would really like to read it

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    3. Hi! No, but I wrote stories on Deviantart. Because Camille was inactive for a long time. You can search under Gyorgy58's name: The mop cap, Twins, Day off, The right place.

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  8. Honestly the story is okay even with the rough translation. But the overall plot progression just seems really rushed. Victoria's parents are so negligent and uncaring that it would have made more sense if they were also plotting to have Mary replace her. Otherwise, they can't be taken seriously.

    And Victoria herself literally doesn't even try to get out of this. She could have easily had a conversation with her parents both before and during the wedding. Even going to their room in the middle of the night would have solved this. It's just too silly that she doesn't do anything at all to help herself once, and devalues the 'trap' Mary is setting. And her parents leaving to return home after getting a strange letter without speaking to her or even Elizabeth about the arrangement is too convenient.

    If these points were fixed the plot would be much stronger imo. It's still enjoyable as is, but it's hard to support the characters the way they are now.

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    1. Thank you for your comment. Since I don't speak English, I am forced to use a translator and improve the result as much as I can. The text could be longer, but then it might be more drawn out. I still had a hard time finishing it. Perhaps for this reason, and also because of my inexperience, there are errors in content. I also wanted to make it similar to the original story. (Bunty comics: The Impostor) I also posted maid stories on deviantart. Thanks again for your comment!

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  9. This was a pretty funny story, thank you George. I also read a few of your stories on Deviantart as well before this. I didn't realize you were the same author at first lol.

    I do like with this story that there's technically nothing stopping Victoria from leaving Elizabeth's house and going back home if she can hitch a ride from someone else. She should be able to convince her parents that Mary lied once she gets back too. It feels like it's open ended enough for a sequel if you ever felt like writing one.

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    1. Hi! Thank You! I can't communicate with Camille. I sent her a story a while ago, the page was inactive then. I also wrote her a letter, but she didn't answer. Maybe I'll try again. Until then, I'll post on Deviant. BB

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