As a fan of Emma Finn's work I was at first slighly hesitant a retelling of this classic tale was needed but after seeing the material that BigBird shared with me I am all by confident that Emma herself would have approved of such "fan fiction". It's a great story on its own that lovers of transformation genre are bound to love. The story is going to be a long one and will be published in multiple installments. Please feel free to comment and share your ideas.
If for some reason you missed Emma's novel,
I highly recommend Book
1 of the unfinished trilogy, but if you want a completed shorter version,
you can also read Cleaner:
The Original Story, one of the first (and best) lady-to-maid stories out
there.
The Cleaner Returns
by BigBird74
Many of you will recognise the title of this story. In places, Cleaner (an alternative) leans heavily on Emma Finn’s wonderful book. However the aim of this project is to offer a whole new story that touches on the original material every so often. The overall plot is very similar. The feel is very different. Other than Melissa, the characters are the same largely speaking.
I hope you all take this as it is intended, as a
tribute to Emma. I was lucky enough to exchange ideas and emails with her on
several occasions and always found her a joy to talk to. I was deeply saddened
when she had to leave us and her work was left unfinished. I wondered whether
to try and finish it, but then decided to take an alternative (easier) route
and rework the story.
I hope you enjoy!
BigBird
1
I stretched my legs towards the driver’s seat, tipping
the heels from off my feet. It felt good to finally get those killer shoes off
my suffering toes. I had been on my feet almost constantly this morning,
strutting up and down a catwalk as we practised for next month’s show. I felt
my stomach turn at the thought.
Why had I been so stupid to agree to do that show? I
must have seemed somewhat desperate, as people were constantly pushing for me
to do one more show before taking up my longed for retirement. Now, after four
assignments in seven weeks, I was feeling stressed. The reason I wanted to
retire - panic attacks - were not getting any better. Now, with my retirement
as out of reach as ever, matters were coming to a head. Typically, in such a
high-octane environment, one becomes largely immune to the catty remarks, put
downs and constant pressure to look one’s best. However after what felt like a
lifetime in the industry, my confidence was waning fast and my ability to stand
tall badly diminished.
That explains why I was now on my way to an
appointment with Dr Mark Jacobs. Okay so many would write him off as a quack
shrink, but his adverts are everywhere and I was desperate for help. He was
also available. It usually takes several weeks to get an appointment to see a
guy of his experience, but after telling him my name – Dahlia Western – the
door opened much more quickly. I smiled at that thought: perhaps I still had it
after all! Almost twenty years after my first modelling job, I was still able
to turn almost any man – and, come to that – woman’s head. I rummaged through
my handbag and found my pocket mirror, checking my makeup.
Call it insecurity or professional pride, but I always
maintain the highest standards when it comes to my appearance. After all, one
could never be too careful. An unexpected moment with the paparazzi could
result in pictures of me without any makeup being plastered all over the
internet, exposing for the whole world to see my gradually deepening lines and
wrinkles. It seemed lately that not a day went by without some new flaw
emerging on my once pristine skin. The passage of time was relentless and
unforgiving. I needed to get out of the spotlight, but letting go was proving
terribly difficult.
Listening to this right now you probably think I am a
rather shallow character, vain and narrow in her worldview. But that would be
an unfair characterisation. I did not always suffer from panic attacks. The
death of my brother a few years ago seems to have started them and then the
anxiety one feels when exposing oneself publicly, as models are required to do,
whipped my attacks into an all-consuming fear that would grip me days before a
show. Perhaps if I had someone to talk to it would have been better. But there
was no-one. My love life was non-existent, restricted to erotic books and the
occasional flirt with websites that invoked as much shame as anything else. My
last romance was, coincidentally, around the time my brother died. Perhaps the
two matters had reinforced one another in my mind, scuttling any reserves of
confidence I may have had.
Though I complained about my agent, I really could
never complain about the job he had done. I had been well managed. I had
moved from youthful designers to a more mature set up: classic, timeless,
elegant – you know the kind of thing. Tommy, my agent, was one of only two
people I saw regularly, my sister Melissa being the other. My brother had been
a third before his untimely death. Only my sister and I were left in our
family, our parents passing away when we were both teenagers. All these factors
had undoubtedly contributed to my current malaise and had left me feeling
exposed and vulnerable. These were the kinds of thing I imagined being said
during the appointment as I built up an image of how it would all likely
proceed. I was so tired. I sat back in the plush leather seat of the limo and
closed my eyes, trying to catch a little, fleeting nap.
I must have dozed off, as the twenty minute ride
across town ended much too soon. Sure enough the driver had pulled up outside a
rather tatty looking building on the edges of the downtown district, in a
slightly seedy looking neighbourhood. I sighed to myself. If I had known he was
practising in this part of town, maybe I would have looked a little harder.
Still my immediate needs had grown urgent and I wanted to get my head in the
right place before the upcoming show and delaying for a few more weeks did not
seem a good option right now. Reluctantly I pulled my long, lithe body from the
car and walked to the door.
2.
If the building housing the psychologist’s office gave
one impression, the man himself provided a wholly different one. Dr Mark Jacobs
proved to be a huge surprise. No tweed jackets and elbow patches here. The
doctor’s fine suit was enhanced by his finely sculpted body. This doctor was
clearly obsessed not only with a healthy mind, but a healthy body. Dahlia was
used to seeing handsome men of course, her job introducing her to a bevy of
perfect specimens. However they had the slightly arrogance that came with such
self-assuredness and their lifestyles were only too familiar to a now jaded
Dahila who yearned for something different.
No, the doctor was different and he seemed available.
There were no signs of a wife, Dahlia thought as she scanned the office for
tell-tale pictures or gifts. There was also no wedding ring. As though readying
a long-forgotten trap, she fluffed her hair and assumed a girly, flirty pose as
she positioned herself in front of him. Waiting for a kiss on the cheek, she
was a little taken aback by the offer of an extended hand. ‘Okay, so he wants
to shake my hand,’ she smiled as she duly followed suit, somewhat bemused at
the unusual response.
What followed next also defied her expectations.
Dahlia had seen enough television and film portrayals of a visit to the
psychologists to have built up an image of how this visit should have gone: a
gentle unfurling of her concerns, followed by a slight interrogation of her
past to try and link causal factors from her childhood or early adolescence.
And that is largely how things progressed initially, but about halfway through
the appointment, the questioning took a turn that surprised her.
“Dahlia. May I be frank with you?”
She nodded silently, a slight look of concern crossing
her almost perfect features.
“Dahlia, we are here to explore what is that drives
you. What is it that pushes you to do what you do every day? Now we can spend a
great deal of time and effort in doing that or we can cut to the chase and save
ourselves a lot of circling around the inevitable.”
“I see…. How do you suggest we do that?” Dahlia
questioned.
“I must reassure you, everything you say within these
four walls will be treated with the upmost secrecy. I will never tell another
living soul of what we discover on our journey together.” His eyes twinkled
brightly, reassuringly. Attractive people have a knack of getting their way, at
least that had been Dahlia’s experience all her life since she was young.
Unwittingly she signalled a vulnerability that the trained eye could zero on
to.
“Sure. What is it you want to know?” Thus began one of
the most frank and embarrassing conversations of Dahlia’s life. After the hour
was up, they had discussed her fears. The psychologist took copious notes of
how ageing and the gradual, but relentless, loss of her perfect looks had eaten
away at her confidence. How she feared losing the wealth she had built up over
the course of her dazzling career. And how she feared retirement, unsure of
what she would do and how time would consume her. It was hard to admit many of
these fears. She had held onto them silently for many years and kept them
bottled up deep within her, where they had clearly began to ferment and helped
to fuel her anxiety attacks.
Still, there was more. Fear typically works hand in
hand with desire and the doctor wished to explore that. Dahlia could feel by
the tone of his voice and manner of approach that he was leading towards
something bigger. Sexuality of course was promoted as the underlying reason for
so much of our subconscious behaviour and Dahlia could feel the interview
shifting relentlessly towards it. Then just as had begun to panic a little, the
meeting was over. She looked slightly bemused. Had it really been an hour
already?
As she got up to leave and retrieve her things, she
felt a tightness in her stomach, a dragging sensation that led to warmth
between her thighs. It had felt exciting to speak so openly, to express her
vulnerability to a stranger. Okay, so the stranger happened to be her doctor
who was drop dead gorgeous, but even so, it was a curious reaction for her. She
was used to beautiful men surrounding her. What was new was the experience of
mild embarrassment. It was that slight cringe she felt when recalling their
conversation that fuelled the butterflies now crowding into her stomach.
They departed much as they met. Eyes locked onto one
another and a clear sense of attraction. It was mutual wasn’t it? Dahlia
questioned as she turned and left for her waiting car.
"The Cleaner" remains one of my favourite stories by Emma Finn and have read and reread it several times now but not so with the unfinished version; I'm hoping that this will be a welcome replacement. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIf anything I love the unfinished trilogy for its scope and ambition. I've said it before but I think that Emma might have painted herself into a corner with that one. The original Cleaner is just more tight and to the point (even as I don't quite like the "feel good" ending). The updated version was shaping up as a much darker story but we'll never know how Emma would have wrapped it up.
DeleteLet's see what BigBird does with this general plot. I am excited to read the new take!
I did enjoy the unfinished trilogy and as you say the scope of the plot was interesting but I really dislike reading unfinished stories. The original cleaner, as I said remains one of my favourites and although I did like the "feel good" ending I would have liked to have seen more of the changed roles. Like you I'm looking forward to this current offering, fingers crossed but given previous works I think we are all in for an interesting ride.
DeleteI haven't even started to read yet but my anticipation is great. Emma Finn was a wonderfully creative and unusual writer with a unique style that was loved by many (me included). It was tragic that she died so young. If anyone can recreate some of the atmosphere of the original story then it's Bigbird but it's great responsibilty.
ReplyDeleteCamille is also a writer with a unique perspective so I tust you both to provide we readers with an interesting take on the original theme. I'm sure this won't be my last comment ;)
R
The original story was a favourite and the much longer continuation even more so. There's not much here to judge as we're in the early stages of setting the scene but so far so excellent. I'm eager for more.
DeleteNot so sure about the change from 1st to 3rd person; it always seems a bit of a cop out but other writers have used the technique successfully and Emma herself told the story from different perspectives.
thanks
R
wow,,next please,,, im waiting for this
ReplyDeletePatience, it's going to be a long journey!
DeleteHope you guys enjoy it.... I still worry whether it is the right choice. But I wanted to do it for some time, so thought what the hey, let's see.
ReplyDeleteBigBird
Can you add pictures
DeleteBig shoes to fill but I'm sure that we are all rooting for you
DeleteJust my thought pictures of Dahlia transformation to a cleaner and the cleaners to Dahlia would be outstanding it would be outstanding for the book
ReplyDeleteWould love some good illustrations myself. Also a comic similar to A Model Maid could be great. The only problem is finding someone to draw it. I could try myself but pretty sure you won't like the end result!
DeleteOne thing that might work is to produce a rendered computer generated character. It would look kind of realistic.. And could be changed step by step... Would this be interesting?
DeleteBigBird
Absolutely!
DeleteI'm a huge fan of Big Bird's writing. Absolutely loved New Employee. He has a gift for character development and vivid descriptions. Can't wait to see how this story unfolds.
ReplyDeleteas soon as I saw "by BigBird" I knew this story is going to be terrific. BTW, any chance of seeing a new chapter of that Anabelle story you started on The Changing Mirror BigBird?
ReplyDeleteI have a light sketch of this already... �� Maybe..
DeleteBigBird
BigBird thank you
ReplyDelete